Silentium
by maranoismylife
Summary: Marco and Jackie are together, and Star is slowly dying. (she hopes to die soon)
1. Chapter 1

Star Butterfly and Marco Diaz are friends; best friends, partners, roommates the most. It's always been that way, and it always will be, no matter how much she wants (no craves) to be more. But it can't be, because no matter how much it kills her, he's not hers to have.

No, Marco Diaz belongs to the loved Jackie Lynn Thomas, and has since they were in kindergarten. Star's known him for less than that, four years and five months to be exact, and there was no competing with a girl like Jackie (because she's come to realize that no amount of magic could ever make Marco truly love her). And the worst part, she thinks, is that she sees it all, and she can do nothing more than scream her lungs out into her pillows and hope the nightmare will end (they never do).

See, Star could never make Marco smile the way Jackie does, or bring the warm feeling he's always talking about to his stomach. She can punch his arm when he's being a nervous wreck, stuff her face with nachos with him and give him a comforting hug when he needs one, but she can do no more. She loves those moments, though; she likes to pretend, that at least for _one_ second, he's hers. (But that's not right, and Star knows it, so she lets the thoughts sink deep into her mind where she hopes to eventually erase it completely).

Jackie, however, can do whatever she want. She can snuggle into the crook of his neck, feel the heat radiating from his palms on hers, and kiss him on the lips whenever she wishes. She can make Marco laugh so hard, his stomach begins to hurt, just from a few words. She makes him happier than she ever has, and although she'd drowning, she knows it.

She doesn't say a word.

* * *

Star tries her best to keep her distance from them, but when she can't, she _hates_ every second of it.

Marco and Jackie aren't the type to act all lovey dovey, and it'd be easier to tease them if they were, but they aren't. They're too discrete, the type of couple who stares lovingly into each other's eyes, who share secrets between the two of them and who's kisses are full of endearment. Star wants that more than anything, and it's gradually made her go numb.

Tom, who's done nothing but be there for her and control his horrid temper, knows it as well.

''Let me take the pain away'' he says, as he towers over her on her bed, sliding his hand up her dress.

She lets him.

* * *

It hurts, especially with the fact that Marco doesn't know a thing.

''Come on, Star'' he cried out, grabbing her gently by the arm. ''Let's go to the movies, since Princess here, is too busy studying''

They're having lunch out in one of their high school's lunch tables, and the sun seemed to be shinning down on them far too much.

Star wants to scream (he's! touching! Her! Again!), but instead pretends she's too focus on using her wand at that very moment. ''Marco, can't you see I'm busy?''

''Please, take him'' Jackie calls out, across the table from them, her head buried into the book in front of her. ''Diaz, here, has been bothering me since this morning''

''Aw, c'mon, there's a new karate movie showing after school'' He wraps an arm around her shoulder, leaning his head against hers and Star instantly freezes. ''What do you say? We haven't spent time alone together in a while''

Her heart is racing too fast, she thinks she's actually dying.

''Why don't you go by yourself?'' she growls.

''That's no fun'' he tugs at her again, begging dramatically. ''Come on, Star! I'll buy you all the sour candy you want!''

''Alright, fine'' she sighs, pushing him off (if his hands continue to be against her skin, she feels she might go insane). Jackie only smirks shaking her head. ''Marco Diaz, you are one immature dude''

''Is that so?'' he wiggles his eyebrows at her, the way he knows causes her to fall into a fit of giggles. ''You just happen to love this immature dude''

''Oh, please. I'm still with you purely out of obligation''

He pretends to be hurt, and this time he locks arms with Star before she's even fully able to comprehend what's happening. ''That's fine, I'll just date Star instead''

Star could feel herself sinking down into the ground.

''You do that'' Jackie chuckles, eyes scanning through the second page. ''You'll come crawling back in a week''

They go on with their playful argument, and Star finds herself distancing herself on the inside.

* * *

The most Star ever did with Marco was place a kiss on his cheek.

It had been two years ago, back when Marco and Jackie had been only a year together, and the two had been off fighting some monsters they'd come across in another dimension.

It was purely out of happiness, out of adrenaline that they'd made it out the fight alive after having battled such huge and deadly monsters. Marco had only laughed it off, and they'd gone on their way. Star hadn't forgotten it, though, and the guilt had begun to overtake her completely. _He wasn't hers_ , she'd gone over it in her head about a million times, _he wasn't hers and she couldn't do that ever again._

She didn't.

* * *

She's meant to cut it off with Tom for a while now.

They're not serious (Marco merely thinks they're hanging out as friends), but they were too intimate to not be. Tom has known she's in love with Marco for years now, and doesn't shun her for it. He only wants her to forget her love for her best friend, he always reminds her, so that she can find her own happiness with him. Still, Star knows it's wrong to be with him, and yet push away his feelings as if they don't mean anything (because she knew that Tom loved her the way she loved Marco).

''I can't do this anymore'' she says, covering her nude body deeper into his bed sheets. ''I can't keep doing this to either of us''

He grabs her by the waist, his body pressed against her back as he places a kiss on her shoulder. ''Please, don't leave''

She doesn't say anything for the rest of the night.

She stays.

* * *

''You'll always be my best friend, Star'' Marco says to her one night, when they're sitting on the couch watching television.

She conjures up a smile, refusing to let her eyes tear up. ''And you'll always be my best friend, Marco''

Maybe one day, maybe in a few months, or maybe in a few years; she doesn't really know when the feelings will go away. All she can do is hope that it'll be soon. Star doesn't know how much more she can take it all, being a prisoner due to her own heart. She wants to wake up one morning and feel nothing when Marco walks out of his bedroom with bed hair, or when he laughs, or when he's doing his karate moves (she wants that, but she wants Marco more for now).

Maybe one day.


	2. Chapter 2

Marco Diaz likes to believe Star would never hide anything from him, ever. After all, they've been best friends for a number of years, and they've gone through hell and back for each other (and he'd do it again and again if he had to). But then he starts to notice just how Tom and Star act around each other, even when he's there.

You see, Tom and Star had once dated, and throughout time and Tom's gradual un-obsession with her, the two of them had become friends once again. But Marco knows those stares, and the touches and the whispers too well, and he doesn't want to admit it, but he can feel his heart sink lower and lower each time.

He waits for her to tell him; to walk into her bedroom or nudge him in the school hall or scream it out to him when they're watching her favorite romantic movies.

But she doesn't say anything, and Marco thinks he's going to lose his mind.

(Maybe he already did, he doesn't really know).

* * *

Every time Tom comes over, Marco notices the way Star fakes a smile and how she nervously pulls on her blonde hair when they're talking. Nothing about the way the demon boy acts is much different, except, he always finds a way to touch her.

Marco hadn't noticed it at all (it had probably been happening for years, but he'd been so oblivious), and once he did, he couldn't stop looking.

A gentle touch on the hands, a squeeze on the shoulder, bumping knees.

Marco starts sitting between them on the couch whenever he has the chance, but somehow it's not enough.

He's starting to become _too_ paranoid, and he starts to wonder why.

 _Star is my best friend_ , he lies to himself, _I'm just looking out for her._

* * *

It hurts, especially when he realized just what exactly Star and Tom were.

His parents had gone off on another cruise (because the second Marco had turned 20, they'd decided he was old enough to take care of the house), and he'd gone downstairs to get a glass of milk after having awaken from a dream.

He heard it, walking down the hall towards his room, and all he could do was freeze right then and there.

There were groans, Tom's groans to be more exact, followed by Star's own muffled voice.

Marco could've died at that very spot from how fast his heart was accelerating and just how much his stomach had turned, but instead, all he did was walk back to his bedroom and get back into bed.

He didn't sleep that night at all.

* * *

He breaks it off with Jackie as soon as he realizes why he cared so much.

She's silent at first, just listening to him ramble on about how they'd spend six too many years together, and he didn't feel the same feelings he had for her at the start.

Jackie only grins, that laid back smile, and tells him she understands, but just before she walks out, she asks if he finally realized it.

He nods, and she smiled again.

He pretends he doesn't see her weeping her eyes out just a corner away.

* * *

''What's going on between you and Tom?'' Marco shouts, in the middle of fighting off a group of mosnters.

He knows it's the right time, but he's spend months draining himself over it, and he can't take it any more.

''What?'' she yells back, blasting two with her wand. ''What are you talking about?''

''I know you two are sleeping together'' he kicks the monster as hard as he's ever done so in his life. ''Please tell me that's all that's happening''

She doesn't say anything, and they defeat the villains within minutes before making their way back home.

Marco doesn't want to let it go though, so he grabs her arm, and she struggles her way free.

''Answer me''

''I don't have to'' she growls.

He imagines he can't feel his heart fall seeing her in so much distress. ''Star, please, I need to know''

Looking at him for a few minutes, she lets out a defeated cry and tells him everything (he's heartbroken because she's suffered longer than he had, and he hates himself for not realizing he's in love with her sooner), and with tears streaming down her face, she attempts to run away.

He doesn't let her, and instead pulls her into an embrace.

''I love you too'' he mumbles, running his fingers down her hair.

She cries harder into his shirt, screaming how she'd let that _bastard_ touch her and how she was disgusted at herself.

Marco cries with her (he can actually feel his broken heart transfer into tears), and he doesn't let go for the rest of the night.

The next day, he finds Tom and tells him to never get near her again. The demon attempts to kill him, but he's faster and without mercy this time.

For once, Marco can actually feel like he can breathe.

* * *

''You'll always be my best friend, Star'' Marco says to her, after a long night of television.

She smiles, and his hand fits into hers perfectly. ''and you'll always be my best friend, Marco''

Who knows, maybe one day, maybe in a few months, or in a few years, he'll look back on it all and realize just how blind he'd been from the start. Maybe one day he'll learn to forgive Tom for everything he did, and ask Jackie for the forgiveness he hadn't, hoping she'd find someone better than he ever was. He'll look at an older (and happier) Star, and he'll remember everything, and he'll fall in love with her all over again.

But for now, with his head resting on her lap and her gentle fingers running through his dark hair, all he can do is hope the moment will never end (because meeting Star was the best thing that could ever happen to him, and now being with her went more than beyond that).

He loves today.


End file.
